Beautiful Disaster
by calorraine
Summary: She surrounded herself with boys who didn't matter, trying to forget the one that did. The worst part was, the man who broke her heart, is the one she has to see every day. Now he's just a scar, a story she tells, and a time that she fell for someone that didn't love her well. Eclipse. Complete
1. Chapter 1

She remembers the day he walked away as if it was yesterday. He came back from having disappeared for two weeks, with no explanation and no meaning. She remembers how worried she was. They had just gotten engaged and she was over the moon. Then he disappeared. When he came home he was not the Sam she knew. The one she knew was gentle, and happy. However, this Sam was forceful and angry. She could not figure out for the life of her what had made his sudden change in demeanor. What had happened in those two weeks?

When he came home he broke up with her. He said he was not good enough for her and they did not belong together. That he belonged with her cousin Emily. That they were soulmates. She never believed him. She still does not. As much as she hates how terrible the thought was, she wished Emily Young were not her cousin. That she was some random chick who stumbled into their lives and snatched her fiancé up. If only the gods had shown her some sympathy.

The day she phased, was like having Sam Uley break up with her all over again. All the thoughts of the day her heart broke and all the thoughts of Emily, coming from his mind, was too much for her. She needed a way out. She needed to get him out of her head. She found that outlet at throwing herself at the next available man. Whether it be some man at a bar in Port Angeles or the resident man whore Paul Lahote.

"Leah are you even listening?" the man himself asked, bringing her out of her thoughts.

They were sitting in his and Emily's living room, having a pack meeting. She was sitting on his favorite chair, the one she bought for his birthday several years ago, in a pair of skin tight yoga pants and a loose tank top, so loose that if she moved a certain way you could see her nipples. No bra, no panties. She had her legs pulled up and a light blanket wrapped around her, she did not need it for the warmth, but for the comfort it brought to her.

She looked him straight in the eyes as she replied. "The redheaded leach has been keeping out of dodge and a new leach has been snooping around the leach lovers' house. You're putting us on extra patrols around her house in case the leach comes back." She raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you done? I have places to be."

By places to be, she means men to fuck. Paul knew this too and could not help but chuckle.

"No, we're not done," Sam said, getting frustrated with her. He went on to give them their patrolling schedules for the next week and the dates and times for their training session with the Cullen's.

As soon as Sam said the meeting was over, she was out the door. There was a man in a silver Ford Mustang, parked at the end of the Uley's driveway waiting for her.

"Where to?" he asked her, looking at her with lust filled eyes.

"Anywhere we can be alone," she replied.

Putting the car in drive, the man took off down the road. Between shifting gears and shifting eyes, he placed his hand of her thigh.

He knew the routine. This man was one of her regulars, he lived in Forks and never asked any questions or wanted anything else from her but sex. They had an understanding.

The day wandered on and she ended up at the Marina where her father used to keep his boat before he passed away and she had used to help him take care of it. However, when he died, her mother sold the boat to help with the hospital fees.

She stood at the edge of the dock looking out over the water. There were fishing boats out in the distance. Around her were the boats of the other fisherman and sailors. Looking around she could not help but feel safe and secure here. This is where she spent most of her time with her father, where she spilled her guts to him, where he made her feel better.

On the water about 100 feet out, Harry and Leah would stop their boat. He would hear her cry about how much she missed Sam and how much it hurts that Emily was the one that took him away from her. In response, Harry would wrap her in his arms and sing her an old lullaby his mother used to sing to him in the times he needed it.

Today though, she sat there, looking out over the water, wondering when things were going to get better. Sure, she was not completely in control of the life the god's have handed to her, but she did not need to make her life any more miserable. She did not exactly know what to do with herself or how to make things better. She sure as hell was not going to go see a shrink.

As if her thoughts were not enough to make her want to cry, the sound of approaching feet and the smell of the one she longed for made her heart hurt even more.

"You've got to stop doing this to yourself," he told her as he wrapped her favorite blanket around her shoulders. He knew she did not need it, but he also knew how much it made her feel safe, and secure. "You've got to stop, before you end up killing yourself."

Leah wanted to shrug away from him, to put distance between the two of them, but she could not make herself do it. She just sat there, staring at the water, his arm wrapped loosely around her shoulder.

She wanted to snap at him, ask him why he cared, but he would just see through her façade. Instead she told him what she is been dying to tell him for months.

"No matter where I am or who I'm with... What day or time it is... in this lifetime or the next... it is always going to be you? You're the only one I think about," she softly started to cry. "I know I need to get over you, I can see how happy you are with Emily, but I just can't. I cannot help but feel like that should be me. I should be the one cooking for the pack, the one with the ring on my finger, the one with your love and affection."

She broke down crying and he pulled her to his chest. Nothing he could say would make her feel any better. He would not be helping her any by talking either. Holding her while she cried, even though he was the reason she cried, was enough to soothe a little part of her soul that would keep her going for just a little bit longer. They stayed like that until she cried herself to sleep.

Sam wrapped her in the blanket and pulled her into his arms. He carried her home. Sue was not shocked when he entered her house with her only daughter in his arms. This has been a recurring thing, the only thing that would keep this woman going.

As Sam placed her onto her bed, he placed a sheet lightly over her sleeping body. A tear escaped as he gently kissed her forehead, before whispering two words, "I'm sorry."

Wiping the tears away Sam exited the room. As he was about to exit the house Sue spoke softly, "See you next week."

Sam only nodded.


	2. Chapter 2

He hated what he did to her.

He did not have a choice in the matter.

One day they were perfectly fine. They took a trip up to Seattle to see a Mariners game. That day was unusually hot Washington but that made the day even better. They both had on matching #7 jerseys for Marco Gonzalez #7. He was Leah's favorite player and although Sam was slightly jealous of the man, he humored her anyways. Each with a Mariners dog in hand they watched the game while drinking some cold rainier beer.

At this point Sam's body changed enough to where he looked 25 so they never questioned his age. Still to this day they did not know how they go away with it.

Mariners vs Diamondbacks. 6 to 2 in favor of the Mariners.

It was a joyous day.

Then all hell broke loose.

On the way home they stopped for ice cream in Forks. After the almost 4-hour drive home they decided one last hurrah before going back to the real world.

That was the day the Cullen's moved to town. He has hated them ever since. No one told him what was going to happen next.

He had no idea that after that wonderful day things would go so bad. He asked her to marry him. It was the best, and worst, day of his life.

The two weeks that proceeded with torture. All he wanted to do was go home and crawl into be and wrap her in his arms. Tell her everything was going to be alright, that he loved her so much.

However, that is the furthest thing that happened. The enders, even her own father, refused to let him see her. They told her that he needed to end things with her before any more heartache could happen. Boy were they wrong.

He loved Leah for as long as he could remember, even met Emily a few times. However, at that time all Sam saw was Leah, Emily was too plain for him. The next time he saw her however completely changed that thought.

The next time he saw Emily she because everything he ever wanted. That confused the hell out of him. His world was Leah, not Emily. He did not want Emily. But he did.

 _Imprinting.. when you see her everything changes? All of a sudden it is not gravity holding you to the planet, it is her, nothing else matters. You would do anything for her. Whether that is a protector, or a lover, or a friend._

He hated her at first. She was selfish. Oh, so fucking selfish. Why couldn't she have him as a friend? Why did she have to have him as a lover?

He still resents her to this day.

Especially days like today

The others did not see it but it but a strain on the relationship he had with Emily. Yeah they were engaged, but her kept putting it off. Telling her when the time was right they would finally do it.

It was not the same ring he gave to Leah, no, the one he gave to Leah belonged to his mother. Emily did not deserve that ring. He still had it too, tucked away for safe keeping.

His mama loved Leah. They both cried the day she moved away. Like Sam, she was a lovesick fool. His father lived in Tacoma and so his mama followed him there. They visited occasionally but it was not the same.

He has not spoken to her since he told her about him being engaged to Emily. His mama did not approve. He has not seen his mama since.

Nights like tonight though, he wished she were closer.

Instead he settled for the bar that was closest to Forks. He would drown his sorrows in Everclear. 190 proof. Only drink that would successfully get him blackout drunk.

Walking into the low light, smoke slinging' place he sat at the bar.

"Hey Sammy!" the bartender greeted, slapping down a napkin and putting a rocks glass on it. He proceeded to pour the elixir in the glass. "Where'd you find her tonight?"

"The docks," Sam said, slamming the drink. "Another and leave the bottle."

"You got it buddy," he said, pouring Sam another glass before setting the bottle next to it. "Who do you want me to call tonight?"

Sam swirled the glass in his hand in thought. "Same as always, Dick."

The bartender was Jared's father, Richard "Dick" Cameron. He knew about the wolves and the Cullen's. Him being on the council gave him that right. Dick knew all about Sam and Leah and felt bad about it. He was the only one on Sam's side.

"You know," Dick said, leaning against the bar. "One of these days that man is gonna end up kicking your ass."

"Fuck off Dick," Sam said, taking a sip of his drink.

Dick put his hands up and walked away.

Sam was on his third bottle when his head hit the bar. He did not know how long he was out for before he felt himself shaking.

"Hi-ya Pauly," Sam slurred.

"Sam," came a stern voice. Paul put Sam's arm around his shoulder, helping him to stand. "Come on, I need to get you home."

"But I don't wanna go home," Sam replied.

The drive back to Sam's place was silent. Just like the tears rolling down his face.

The car stopped and Paul helped him to the door, leaving just as fast.

"Sam is that you?" asked a voice from upstairs.

"Yeah Em, it's me," he sighed. "I'm sleeping on the couch tonight."

He did not hear what she had to say. The moment he laid down he passed out.


End file.
